Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Vegan Wedding Update: 198 Days to Go

It's been several weeks since I last shared anything with you about our wedding. I thought this momentous event in our lives was worthy of another post, so here is your update! Because, holy carp, there's under 200 days before the big day!

After picking our Santa Fe, NM venue (a nice state park with rustic charm) Chris and I started going nuts with the wedding planning. We designed our own invitations and sent them out relatively quickly. We set up an alternative registry through Honeyfund in order to help cover the cost of our honeymoon. Here's the front of our invitations, in case you were curious...

We are adorables, yes?

We took the photos in September when we were planning a northeast wedding on the beach. So much for that idea! I got the camera set up for the lighting, exposure, etc., my mom snapped the photo, and we edited it for use in invitations about four months later. 

So after that I started pinning ideas for hairstyles and clothes. The two of us thought it would be really cute to both wear suits. Then we looked into buying fitted suits for women and saw how expensive they were. Ouch! We still may end up doing this for Chris, but I decided to go with a dress on the more affordable side. My mother and aunts and cousins will be visiting in... 8 days! I may have a wedding dress in about one and a half weeks.

When we realized that wardrobe would have to wait, I start shopping for a new ring. As what you would call a non-traditional couple, Chris and I celebrated our engagement with simple bands. I never intended to get a big ring with a (fake) diamond on it, but the more I started thinking about what I wanted, the more I truly desired something blingy. The first ring I ordered was very bright and sparkly. It was, however, way too big for my finger. I kept it for a few days, thinking about whether or not I liked it and wanted to get a smaller size. Eventually, I returned it and tried another in a different style. It fit much better (still too big) but the stone was absolutely huge. It sparkled, yes, but it felt fairly uncomfortable. I sent that one back, too, and sadly accepted the fact that big rings weren't my thing after all. I have decided on another option but have yet to order it. I may do that tonight.

The two of us were in the midst of selecting music and discussing a theme when my mother really started pushing us toward choosing a caterer. I did not want to do anything about food until we received a final head count. We invited 44 people. If they all came that's still considered an intimate wedding. Not a pressing issue for me. Furthermore, I was apprehensive about trying to find a vegan caterer. Santa Fe has a number of great options, though. Originally, as we are fans of all things exotic and adventuresome, the both of us wanted to order food through Annapurna World Cuisine. They're an all-vegetarian cafe with dishes that seem very American friendly. But then it occurred to me that some family members of ours may not like Indian food. 

I found an organic farm with its own cafe that specialized in gourmet salads and sides. Seemed like a safe, good fit. At that point, I should have just made our orders and reservations and been done with it. Then I could order my cake and cupcakes and start thinking about everything else like favors and decorations.

Chris thought we might want to take into consideration our guests' dietary choices, though. After all, as vegans we know what it's like to go to a wedding and have nothing to eat except rolls. So we told some of the guests we were concerned with what we were thinking and asked for some feedback. It didn't go over very well. In fact, some of them may not even be coming. And they're close relatives. It's kind of sad. Like I said, it would have been better to just not ask. In the end, it's our wedding; the one and only day during which everything is supposed to revolve around us and how much we obnoxiously love each other. The last time I was invited to and attended a wedding I didn't ask the bride, "hey, are you going to have vegan options there? Because I think you need to make sure you accommodate my dietary choices and not go ahead with that barbecue buffet idea." But I digress.

In the wake of that fiasco, neither of us was much interested in planning anything. We took a break. I asked my mother to be in charge of food from now on. I told her I didn't care what we had so long as it was vegan and it didn't cost an exorbitant amount. She is also now waiting for a final head count before ordering. Just like I would have done.

Slowly but surely the two of us have become invested in our big day once more. We picked a theme (forest!) and found some wonderful little favors to order. They're seed pods and small trees. Portable, which will do well with our long-distance travel guests. And if we have leftovers we will be sure to plant our little trees and display them on our porch with glee.

The funny thing is that as soon as we stopped making plans I had two wedding-related nightmares. In the first, I had apparently confused October with April. I thought it was April 3rd instead of October 3rd and I was suddenly going to be married tomorrow and I had nothing to wear, no plans, no vows, etc. In the second dream, my mother had ordered centerpieces and the lady making them called after giving us a reasonable price stating that they were so amazing that she decided they would now cost us $600. We had ordered six. Pretty funny stuff.

I did get myself something to work on, though. I picked up a couple of very tacky cupcake stands that I'm going to decorate to go with our theme. I think I'll wait on those until after my family's visit in April. After all, I have a bunch of plans for this weekend and VegFest comes the weekend after that, along with my family's arrival. I've got lots to amuse myself with so I don't anticipate having any more nightmares in the meantime :-)

Thanks for reading, guys. I appreciate the feedback, as always. Let me know if you have any vegan wedding related advice. The tips you gave me last time definitely helped.

UPDATE: For those of you following my big gay vegan wedding planning adventures, you may also want to take a look at my post about spending the day shopping for wedding dresses with my mom, aunts, grandma, and cousins! Also, we scoped out our venue in May. Take a look at it, if you'd like.

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